Thursday, August 15, 2013

Happy Birthday, Mama.

Happy Birthday, Mommy!  I miss you so much.  I know they are throwing you a birthday party in Heaven, but I wish you were here.  I have so much to tell you about.  Your great-grand=daughter is three years old now and she loves the prayer shawl, I made for you.  She is ornery as all get out and I can almost hear you say, "She's just like her granny" and a look directed at me.  I show her your picture, often.  She always says, "That's your mommy, Granny.", and I will say "yes".  She wants to know where you are and I tell her, "She's in Heaven with Jesus.".  You would eat her with a spoon if you were here.  I know you would love her as much as I do.

Your favorite son-in-love is doing well.  Lots better since he changed jobs and has less stress.  Handsome as always and I believe he misses you as much as I do.  You know how he is.  Doesn't say  much but I know.  He love the grandbaby so much.  Surprising, right?  LoL  They play, fish, swim all the time.  He even has tea parties with her.  Didn't see that one coming did you?  He is a good grandpa.  He is good to me, too.  I love him more today than I did when we got married...but then you know that, don't you.

"Homer" has found a nice lady and they seem to be happy.  It's about time!  He works hard every day and finally followed a dream of becoming a firefighter.  He is doing so much better, than he was, since he got rid of his "baggage".  He is still making his own troubles, though.  LoL  Mountains out of molehills, but he is also a survivor.  He eventually figures things out and moves on.  I am very proud of him.  He is still your baby.

"Miss Priss" is doing well, too.  She is an awesome hairstylist, Mama.  I bet she would love to cut your hair!There are things, she does, that I don't understand.  Many things we disagree on and I sometimes wonder what the heck she is thinking but I'm sure you went through the that with me, but I never forgot what you taught me about being a wife and mother.  She does good but there are things that make me want to pull her head off, but she is still my baby and I love her more than my own life.  She just got back from a vacation in Colorado.  Remember those mountains and the snow?  I know you don't miss that!

I know you didn't like talking about your past and never wanted to think about it again, but, I found a cousin of yours.  She is the grand-daughter of your Aunt.  A wonderful lady.  She was so glad to get my letter and we have stayed in contact.  She is helping me fill in some gaps.  I hope you understand my need to know who I am on my maternal side.  I do wish you were still here because I believe, if you gave it a chance, have fun with it.  I do promise you this, if I ever find out things that would embarrass you, I will take them to my grave and never let anyone else find them.  Oh and I had my DNA tested, as well.  Guess what!  Scandinavian is the predominate line and on your side it is Eurasia.  What an odd turn that took, huh?!

Mommy, I am doing good.  Have some physical issues but we knew I would.  There are days I can't get around well but I still trudge through.  I had a very good teacher.  I remember when you were so sick you couldn't hardly hold your head up but you still managed to take care of us four kids.  And then, at the end, how you fought that horrible disease.  That is one lesson I will never forget.  

I miss you so much.  I wish you were here so we could go to the thrift stores together.  And to eat stuff that is bad for us.  And yes, maybe even have a beer.  

You know, there were times when I wanted to strangle you.  For years, I didn't respect you for the person you were.  I didn't understand why you didn't stand up for yourself against those who hurt you.  I didn't realize what you had gone through, in your younger years.  Oh yes, I knew about it but I just didn't realize the impact it had.  And then the years that followed were just as hard but on a different level.  To be hurt by the very people who are suppose to love you... well, I can't imagine.  I am so sorry for that.  I just wanted to say...

Happy Birthday, Mommy.  I love you and ...

I understand.

1 comment:

  1. Saying a special prayer for you tonight....I know one day my parents too will pass,and I will have to be strong,but it must be so hard. It is a huge blessing knowing that they have chosen the right path that leads to life everlasting, and there will come a time for a great family reunion, yours and mine, and all those who have Christ as their Savior...then there shall be no more parting , nor sickness,pain,but everlasting joy and peace for all eterninty....Oh,what a day that will be......our blessed hope....blessings friend