Thursday, December 27, 2012

Shame...







The decorations are packed away.  Routines are getting back to normal.  As Christmas 2012 becomes a memory, I realize, once again, I am disappointed.  No, not because I didn't receive a gift that I wanted, gifts don't matter to me.  Not because of being so far away from family, which is usually the biggest disappointment.  Nor because we didn't have a white Christmas.  While those things are special, they just don't measure up to the real reason I feel something akin to shamefulness this year.  

The hype of the season is always a sore spot with me but even that isn't the root of the matter.  What really bothers me this year, is that I didn't remind those people I came in contact with, about the reason for Christmas.  I just went about my business not even taking the time to think about it much, myself.  I don't know why.  Maybe it was because I really wasn't ready for the holiday to come around.  I just haven't come to terms, I guess, with this year coming to an end so quickly.  Maybe with all the ups and downs of this year, put me in a state of mind where it just didn't cross my mind.  Maybe the outside world was just too much for me.  I don't know.  

What I do know is that I am ashamed of myself.  I love Jesus with all my heart and it makes me very sad that I didn't share him with others during this very special time...

2 comments:

  1. Please don't be so hard on yourself.
    The hype surrounding Christmas bothers me too ~ so I try to stay out of the stores and watch as little tv as I can!
    I tried this year to have more "quiet time" to reflect on the true meaning of Christmas, and once again I found myself too busy with other things. I will just keep trying. I know God hasn't given up on me!
    Sending you hugs and blessings for a bright and Happy New Year ~

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  2. My sweet Mrs. G....don't allow that to get to you. Like you, the hype of Christmas is so disturbing. So hard to live the beauty of this very special celebration, while so many try to cheapen it. But don't be hard on yourself at all, instead, ask Him to give you the opportunities to share...quietly and without fan fare.

    Thank you so much for sharing yourself with us again :-) by the way...I'll send you some snow from here in the mountains ;D mb

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